When you're very shy, friendlies spend a lot of time convincing you (and you'll try to convince yourself also) that people aren't noticing or judging you the way you fear. This is half true. People aren't noticing you much. But they are judging you the way you fear.
The trick is not to deny that you're misunderstood and misjudged, nor is it to insist on the primacy of the "mis-," because it's quite possible you are judged more accurately than you will admit to yourself. This is, to be sure, pretty unlikely. But the trick certainly isn't gaslighting criticisms away, neither the silent kind you seem to create from nothing, nor the blunt or aggressive or careless kind.
The trick, if there is one, is that you don't know, but you may want to know, and what you want to know is truth, not someone else's opinion.
