One of the things about "being yourself" when you're a guy is that you know this can scare people who needn't be scared.

To some extent that must be true for everyone.

My wish to just "be myself" competes with my wish to be understood as I am. Those are two different things, sometimes.

Typical example: you have a crush on someone. So you talk to female friends about it, because you feel it's this pressure and you wish you could just name the elephant in the room. But they're always like, "Oh no! Don't say that! You'll freak her out!"

Uh, ok. Fine. But it misunderstands me to be freaked out by that, and naming how I feel - and there's nothing wrong with it - is being myself.

Women often develop - thanks to society, etc - this idea that sex is bad and they'll be seen as inferior or immoral. It's tragic and unfair.

Ironically, guys can actually develop almost the opposite idea - that feeling a lot of affection for someone is wrong, creepy, possessive, crazy.

Things can go wrong - reality is kind of harsh sometimes, and that's as serious as can be - but affection in itself is not any of those things at all, and it's hurtful to present that attitude.