The women I like most romantically are very difficult to get to know, and the reason seems to be because I especially like them.

This is part of the lived experience of being a guy, especially a shy one.

Underrecognize how heavy it is at risk of simply not understanding at all.

Note: I don't have a friend zone problem, actually, but a reversed friend zone problem! That is, I always want to be friends, and because I'm a guy and a bit different I'm apparently not trusted. Meanwhile, I know all about the friend zone primarily because I've friend zoned so many women - trying to be as gentle and considerate and direct and loving about it as possible. Which is, I wish, how I could be treated when I like someone who isn't interested in pairing up with me.

Do you get it? I've never complained about being in the friend zone because friendship is the most important thing to me, and my problem is that when it matters most to me, I'm rejected as a friend - subtly, but in some ways definitely. "Of course I'd like to be friends!" and then not responding anymore is a rejection, and actually it hurts a lot. The weird thing is, you think that's inevitable - you think sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind - but it is the friend rejection that really hurts me, actually, not the romantic rejection. They're connected but still separate. It only hurts me so much because I like you romantically, but it's the friend rejection that hurts so much.

Anyway. I don't know how obvious that is. But it's real. It's my life.