When you're a guy like me and it seems like someone's interested in you, and you're realizing she's more than just your type, you wish you could kind of act in a way that shows how you feel with tone etc, she could notice, and she could scoop you up because she was interested in you.

But that's never how it is. Not in my lifetime.

So my polarity is a bit backwards, and I've known this.

As maybe my best female friend ever once said, and I took it as a huge compliment (and she meant it as one, I could tell, and she immediately reassured me of that also), "Lyndon, when you like someone, you act just like a girl!"

I don't know if that's true, but I feel it intensely.

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I'm neither gay nor trans; basically, I feel like a lesbian who happens to be a man and is totally fine with that. And a lot of the time I feel nothing like a lesbian (other than in all the human ways). It's just when I really like someone, I guess I'm what you'd call submissive. Which is normal enough, seen as "weak" and "beta" and "needy" and whatever else. But for me it doesn't feel like weakness, it feels like how I want to feel in those situations.