Many good, empathetic people suffer from a misconception. It's totally understandable that we have this misconception, but it's still a problem.

We've had experiences of someone yelling at us, and making us feel really bad, and maybe we were hurt or angry in that moment, maybe we felt it was somehow unfair, but we thought about it, realized they had a point, and incorporated their feedback into our lives, becoming better people.

Sound familiar at all?

Let me zoom in on a detail.

"maybe we were hurt or angry in that moment, maybe we felt it was somehow unfair, but we thought about it"

That's perspective-taking.

"making us feel really bad"

That's our own personal conscience, the other person's persuasive delivery, and our natural capacity for empathy.

When someone attacks you for what they see as an error you made, it takes empathy to redirect any hurt, frustration, anger, or sense of unfairness that rises up in you, and focus on connecting with and understanding that other person despite these feelings.

It takes empathy. And you are an empathetic person.

You forget that someone with less empathy will probably just feel hurt and angry (because attacked) and think you're a moron and their enemy. They are naturally missing the link you followed to your insight here.

They will not learn from you when you attack them. You will drive them further away from seeing.

Remember this. It will probably not change in our lifetimes. Not unless we reformat ourselves genetically for a new human nature. In other words, it will not change in our lifetimes.

If you didn't fully understand this before, now you're closer to understanding it. You're quite welcome.

Use what you know? Please, for the sake of the future of humanity.