There's a difference between "closed-minded" and "winning this argument."

There's a difference between "defensive" and "critical of a criticism."

There's a difference between "being egotistical" and "putting the truth first."

When people get into arguments, they seem to rush straight into making all those mistakes I mentioned above, the ones from not noticing or not making sure to make those differences.

If someone's refusing to agree with you, it might be because their argument works when yours doesn't. They may see the overview with a level of detail and accuracy you haven't reached yet. That wouldn't be closed-minded.

Often people will end up saying it is closed-minded, but the curious thing is that their own closed-mindedness might be the issue. It's possible, of course, and even likely, for any person to think they're right simply because they're them and they aren't trying hard (read as "don't have to try hard") to process and verify alternatives. That tends to make you feel like you're right, even though it shouldn't. But the principle - this pattern, this flaw so common among humans - cuts both ways. Anyone could be failing to make the needed effort, whether they're calling someone closed-minded or being called closed-minded.

And it's similar with the other two I mentioned: "defensive" versus "critical of a criticism" and "being egotistical" versus "putting the truth first." You have to be careful not to be blind to the difference, when you're listening, and not to fail to make the difference, when you're the one talking.